girls in short dresses.

I went through a huge riot grrl phase when I was 16. I cut obnoxious short boxy bangs into my hair & always wore it in a ponytail as to accentuate them, I later cut all of my hair off in a Marylou Retton-esque style... in my defense it was supposed to look more like Gwyneth Paltrow circa Sliding Doors and with the bangs and my Dad's ex fiancee being a drunk mess & sucking at hair (should've known when she quit the salon for Food Lion..) it just wasn't meant to be. My Napster account was chalk full of Le Tigre, Bikini Kill, L7, etc and I was on the Wau Wau Sisters e-mail list and they totally messaged me back this one time when I responded to a message and it was totally awesome.. it was really light & airy, I totally could've gone to NYC & probably hung out with them.. FML. lol. The truth is no I couldn't have, I was 16-17.. now? Maybe, who knows? Probably not but if I were 24 in 2001.. definitely... Dumb. This was also the first time I dated a girl. We held hands & kissed on the cheek and we slept in the same bed once & fell asleep watching movies that we got at the video store with her uber conservative Mom, which included But I'm a Cheerleader. We were in love. We didn't care who knew it. I believe 2, maybe 3, weeks later I was dating some guy who would later cheat on me but only after making it waaayy too easy to get waaayy too fucked up every day of the summer before 11th grade. We went to McDonald's for homecoming. We had matching platinum blond hair.. I'm actually blond but that's when Eminem was really cool, so when I lightened mine he did too. (Wow...)

Anyway, I also got into Feminism. I was really compelled by the efforts made by the women that had come before me and inspired me to get through my own life because of the things that those women went through so that it would only be as hard as it is now for me to get through it now. And I appreciate that because life sucks and if it sucked any worse, some times I don't know what I would do. However, just like a lot of earth & political issues, I got over it because of alot of confrontational activism. I'm really not into that. I feel like there are different ways of going about being heard and people will actually listen.

PLZ hold.

K, back. I had to leave to go to Salon and get my hair colored.

With that said, I was wondering a couple of months back about the significance of Feminism in our current society and here's my conclusion: there would basically be no need for Feminism anymore if dudes would stop being presumptuous douche bags. Case & point: a fierce girl wearing a hot dress & heels just to hang out with a friend and then go to work.. does she or does she not want to sleep with him?? You may assume she does, in which case, you are wrong. First of all, read that question again and then start to open up to obvious factors, obvious factors being the things that a non closed minded person would see first glance. A. she is going to hang out with a friend, not a "friend" or a friend with benefits, just a friend B. she is going to work after so she looks good for work and C. she's fierce.. of course she's wearing some hot outfit and no it isn't for that dude, its because she looks awesome.

I have to cut this one short and organize my thoughts. I just got laid off for no good reason and considering the last 2 things I've heard about my boss were that he attacked a porn star at a college night at another bar and that he planned on getting rid of all of the straights & lesbians at our bar (well, not mine obviously but w/e).... I'm really thrown off. And I love how I find out about not having a job anymore via fucking facebook, just like how I found out about having a new boss, just like how I found out about all of the changes actually... really professional.

Here's to being a jobless adult in this economy. FML.