The difference between good & bad friends

So I have made no secrets about my recent unpleasant events. This is mainly because I need everyone that plays a consistent role in my life to understand where I'm at and where I don't need to be right now. It looks as though I really need to cut most of the people I've met over the past 6-7 months out of my life. Fortunately not working at the bar has done that for me. So has the rumor that I still work there, which is funny that people hate the place so much, that they'd refuse to speak to someone for still working there. I can't say I blame you but I also can't say I feel the same way because I do love a couple people who decided to stick around and there won't be a time that I don't think they are great & worthwhile people, plus I understand the times and everyone's gotta make a paycheck.

To continue on my initial train of thought, I have to tell you the reason that more or less slapped me across the face and made me sit down and evaluate myself & the situations I put myself into. Like I said in my previous post, the friends who have been supporting me are amazing. Helping me sort things out, dissecting issues & causes and not just saying "it'll be okay" but actually helping me seek ways out, which I'm sure is weird for some people because I am generally the voice of reason & guidance for a lot of the people I know. I am eternally grateful for the reality that has been bestowed upon me and the strong individuals in my life that make it worth living.

So what's the reason? Where's the slap? Its not in any of the above. No. Not at all. The reason was telling another friend about this problem I've developed and their response being, "Girl.. I told you if you were gonna be drinking & driving like that, that you'd better be doing some coke.." The rest doesn't even matter. What sort of advice is that?? Is this actual logic? Where did this logic come from? And how was it justified to the point that it could be thrown around as actual advice? I was beside myself for days over this. Searching for the punch line that would never come because this person was dead serious when they said it.

The idea that life has become this trite entity that we should dangle upon a string over whatever fatal ending we can conjure up in an evening and we should figure out how to make that string as thin as it can possibly be paralyzes my brain. I can't tell you what a relief it is to know that my safety net is rock bottom enough for me and while everything I will have to deal with in the coming months because of the stupid mistakes I have made is undoubtedly going to suck. I am prepared for it and I'm ready for everything that waits on the other side because anything is better than looking back.